Oh, you guys. I didn’t forget. Except that today is Monday. Seriously, as I was typing ” I didn’t forget” I realized it was Monday. And I know that I have a ‘delete’ button on this keyboard and I totally could have played it cool, but ya know what? It’s a new year and a new me. I’m real, you guys.
Just kidding, I’m probably totally going to exaggerate to you. Embellish the crap out of my stories. But tonight, I’m real. Let it soak in…
My Selfie Sunday is this:
20 Things I Laugh at on a Regular Basis (in no particular order):
20. Charlotte. She is so hilarious. And when I say hilarious, I mean horribly sassy and bossy. But she’s so stinking cute that I can’t handle it. She really, honestly thinks she’s the cat’s meow. When she tells me, “Mama! I’m MAD at you!!” I can’t help but laugh. And that’s really bad parenting.
19. Dan. Because he’s funny.
18. People’s vague facebook statuses. “Well, I guess my day can’t get any worse…” Psh. I pretend not to care but I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY YOUR DAY SUCKS. And then I laugh at myself for wanting to know so badly.
17. My chickens. Seriously, I laugh at them all the time. They are really stupid. And I don’t know why, but I actually like them. I don’t like animals. But they give me eggs. And they do really funny stuff like twist their necks all around when they look at me and threaten me with funny noises when I reach in to steal my hard earned protein.
16. Matt Mosman’s facebook statuses. Because he’s funny.
15. B. She’s Charlotte’s bff and I think she might be more hilarious than Charlotte. That girl is a laugh riot.
14. My friends. In a friendly way. I live for our group chats (wow, I admitted that) and any picture that comes through is guaranteed to get a real life LOL out of me.
13. Maria. She’s awesome. She knows how to be funny and her execution is usually spot on.
12. Jamie. He’s so smart and usually catches me in a lie or my own stupidity.
11. TV. I told you I lived for group chat with my friends but I lied. I live for Television. I get through kids’ lunches, laundry, diaper changes and school pick up just so that 8:00pm can roll around and I can watch Girls, Kenny Powers, Workaholics, Downton Abbey, OITNB, you get the picture. (get it? picture? tv is a picture?….)
10. Cat memes. I am not a cat fan. But there’s something about really fat cats saying ridiculous things that gets me every time.
9. School drop off and school pick up. Because people don’t know how to park. They don’t know how to avoid handicapped spots when they aren’t handicapped and when someone takes my usual spot, I get annoyed. And then I laugh because it’s freaking SCHOOL DROP OFF. It doesn’t matter.
8. Alice. When she talks, you can’t help but laugh. Because she’s so adorable. I love that girl and her missing top teeth.
7. My obsession with things like kids’ moccasins, j. crew “crewcuts”, Peek Kids and other over-priced kids fashion. I’m ridiculous. And we live in Idaho. And no one is going to offer to be my children’s model agents even though they totally should and you can contact me at email@example.com …..
6. My experience with yoga. I pretend that I’m a yogi. And every week I tell myself that I’m going to go 5 times. And every week I’m lucky if I go twice. And I laugh at myself every week. Seriously, I do.
5. Mom competition. Moms who compete with other moms. I laugh at it all the time . I see it a lot on Pinterest. Moms will re-pin other moms pins. And pretend that it was all their idea. Moms will hashtag things like #soblessed and #familytime and I think it’s funny because it’s all just for showing off. Because if it was for yourself, you wouldn’t need to let the world know…. (I’m guilty…uhh, #chroniclesoftheperfectbaby anyone?)
4. Olive. Because she’s the best baby (see hashtag above). And she smiles and laughs at the simplest things and I love it.
3. My short-lived hobbies. Things like making harem pants and felt flower headbands. I’m ridiculous.
2. The boulevard. I laugh at us because we’re FREAKING HYSTERICAL. Am I right, Leer?
1. My siblings. Because we text each other incredibly inappropriate things and laugh our heads off.
Ruthie does a lot of laughing. My laugh is over-the-top embarrassing, so if you’re out to dinner at a nice restaurant and you’re wondering what that horrible noise is and why that person doesn’t seem to care about appearing horribly inappropriate with that awful laugh…come say hello. It’s probably me.