Category Archives: Hey Alice

Hey, Alice!…the whales edition

Hey, Alice!


Alice: Did you know there are only 10 whales left in the world?

Me: 10 what?! (in my defense, her speech impediment made it sound like she was saying ‘morels’ and I panicked)

Alice: Whales. WHALES. Ya know…whales.

Me: Only 10 whales

Alice: Yeah, 10. Like, not types of whales, but like 10 real whales. Know why?

Me: Why?

Alice: Because people started hunting and killing them for food and stuff and when only a few are left they start being endangered. And there are rules so no one can kill whales now.

Me: Do people follow those rules?

Alice: Yep, no one ever kills whales now. And we can get more but only if they make babies. And also we should be careful because if there are only 2 whales left in the world and a shark, like, kills one and we don’t know that happened and we go and kill one and think there’ll still be one left, we won’t know that the shark killed it and so there will be zero whales left.

Charlotte: Alice. There are lots of whales in the world.




***Hey, Alice! is something I do that features my adorable seven year old, Alice. She tells me facts and stories and says them with such confidence that you might actually start to believe they are true. Check out all my Hey, Alice! posts by clicking on the category link.


Hey, Alice! (How’s that taste?)



Me: Alice, I didn’t know you liked cinnamon rolls? You’ve never eaten one before.

Alice: Oh, yeah. Well…I do. Ya know, I just had a birthday. And, ya know, each time you have a birthday your taste buds change.

Me: Oh yeah?

Alice: Yeah. So, like, you start to like different foods that you didn’t like before. Like cinnamon rolls.

Me: What else? Did you start to like anything else?

Alice: Yeah. At school. Last week I ate some broccoli.


Alice Maureen. I’m not sure the name could fit her any more perfectly.

Today she’s seven.

My second girl and I had no idea what I was in for.


I had no idea two girls from the same family could be SO DIFFERENT from one another. But Alice is her own soul and she doesn’t try to be anything she’s not.

She came at night, awfully quickly from what I remember. Like all of them, I was instantly in love.

But how could I not be? She had so much hair and the sweetest little face. I think she weighed 7lbs 4oz and she fit perfectly in my arms. She was an easy baby and an easy toddler and she’s a pretty great kid.


She’s not a big talker, but when she talks, you should listen: she has a lot to say. Most of the time, it’s hilarious. A lot of the time, it’s incredibly sweet and thoughtful.

She doesn’t say anything unless she’s thought a lot about it.

She lacks confidence and is unsure a lot. She’s shy and uncomfortable. But oh my, she’s a beautiful friend. She’s an incredible sister and one of the best playmates ever. She plays pretend better than anyone I know. She’s also pretty good at video games and would challenge you in a second.

She has the most beautiful eyes in a really incredible shade of green. Her lips are perfect and that hair — the hair she refuses to let me do anything with is just the best. She still sucks her thumb and she still sleeps in our bed. She’s soft and gets her feelings hurt easily and seeing her big puppy eyes when she’s sad can break you. She’s curious and inventive. She’s fun and she’s hilarious. She’s smart and silly.

She has taught me that even if something looks a certain way, what lives inside might look a lot different. She’s taught me to listen closely when children speak, because even if it’s hard to hear or understand, it’s worth knowing.

Without our Alice, our lives wouldn’t be quite as exciting. We wouldn’t laugh quite as much and we probably wouldn’t think of sweet treats as often, either. We are so happy Alice is ours.


Happy Happy Day, sweetest girl.



“Did you know there are some places no one can go, not even adventurers? Like, some caves have signs that say you can’t go in them. Except maybe some very special adventurers or ones that need stuff like if they’re or and, ya know, stuff like that. Like lava and iron and you need a special ironer to iron it down and get the ore. And, like, if you see 5 dots that’s the amount of ore. It’s in both real life and Minecraft. You don’t know because you didn’t really experience that as a kid..”

Hey, Alice!


Alice: “Well, I was thinking about maybe being one of those guys who makes Minecraft videos and then puts ’em up on YouTube. I’ll probably start when I’m, like, six or something. And I’m six now. So maybe tomorrow.”

Me: “Well I don’t know anything about how to do that, so you’ll have to ask Daddy.”

Alice: “Okay. And I’ll probably have to, ya know, put one of those signs up that says, ‘do not astuhb [do not disturb]’ so that no one is loud or bothers me when I’m doing it. We need, like, a webcam. Do we have one of those? Do you know how to do that?”

Me: “No, Alice. That’s why you need to talk to Daddy about it. And is this going to be your job?”

Alice: “Oh yeah, okay. We probably need also a microphone. Yeah, it’s gonna be a job. I’ll probably be pretty busy doing it. Like after school and on breaks when we don’t have school. Lots of people will want to watch the stuff I put up. I’ll probably make a cupcake land first.”

Would it surprise any of you to learn that Danny thinks this is a brilliant idea? Stay tuned.

Dinos and the Formation of the Earth


“So, Mom, did you know that dinos aren’t here anymore because of the eruption? Yeah, a big ‘ol volcano just erupted and so now that’s why there isn’t any dinosaurs here on this earth. Yeah, it happened about 1,000 years ago about. And then did you know that once, this whole planet was water, and then the land just grew out of it? Likeā€¦it just growed out of the seas. So this town wasn’t here then. And that was a super long time ago. Like 200 years. No, 300. 4. 600 years. It was 600 years ago.”



“Oh yeah, I know the very, very, very first war in the world. It was called the civil war. And it was against two teams. One team thought people should work for them and the other team didn’t think people should work for them. Yeah, and I am pretty sure the one that didn’t think people should work for them won. How’d they win? Guns. I think they had guns.”

That, my friends, is history.