I posted this a couple years ago. If you’re going to reference it now, know that I’ll discuss it here in a second.
I’m gonna share something with you. Oh, what do you have to say? I’m never one to not share and sometimes I tip over and spill on those thoughts all over your nice day? Sorry about that (not sorry). Here’s today’s bit of sharing: I think a lot. It’s quite annoying and causes me a lot of grief. I overanalyze things. I go overboard with research and I will talk over and over my reasons for doing x, y, and z just so people understand it’s not just me being flaky or caught up in a moment of annoyance or anger. And I’ll admit that I like that one thing about myself – that I do make decisions based on my own deep reflection and research. Rarely do I make (big) decisions and choices spontaneously. The same can’t be said for little things I do here and there.
I question almost everything and that can be hard. It can be hard for me (it’s exhausting and if I were a doctor, I’d guess that maybe it had something to do with anxiety and OCD) and it can be hard for those I am close to and trust. Because, chances are, there will come a time I will question you and what you’re doing. My parents taught me to think for myself and I’m not really sure they thought I’d run with that idea as far as my short legs would take me, but I did. If something isn’t going quite right, I don’t just shrug my shoulders and say, “Meh,” I question it, think about it, and if I come to the conclusion that something can be changed, I’ll try my hardest to change it. Rarely do I wait around for it to just magically happen. I’m sure that amongst teachers (school, dance, you name it) I’m the one they talk about. But here’s the thing…I don’t really care. If I believe in something, I’m willing to put myself out there for it. And I won’t push and push for something if I don’t believe in it.
Okay, so back to it not being all about me.
Danny and I made the decision to move our kids from Children’s House Montessori School to the public school. Let me tell you, I lost sleep over this one. There are lots and lots of things I love about Children’s House and I am absolutely passionate about the philosophy that drives Montessori. For Pete’s Sake, I attending the international Montessori congress a couple years ago. I was all in. Until I wasn’t.
It wasn’t working for Jamie.
We tried, and we introduced new ideas and solutions and I think it was hard for his teacher to implement and in the end, we felt like he wasn’t getting what he needed and the school was missing out on what he could give to them because of that as well. His new school has resources available to us to help him. There are teachers and staff trained to work with children who have different and specific needs and have experience.
We will miss CHMS, no doubt. The things I mentioned in the link above? Things I still love about it. I love watching the kids holding hands and helping one another. I love the sense of community and the peace that envelopes you as you walk in. I love seeing the kids hard at work. But I’m so silly. Why did I think that those things couldn’t be loved through another school? Why, in my head, did I have Montessori as the one and only perfect school?
It’s perfect for some, and I can 100% see why and how. Miss Megan has a passion and drive that is unmatched. I can say that with confidence. She loves what she does and she does it well. I am forever grateful my kids experienced their first years with her. She taught them how to be wonderful, loving, happy people of the world and now they’re going to spread that around like wildfire.
For our family, perfection is a mix of experiences. It’s different people and thoughts and ideas combined. We have people in our family who need more assistance and resources and sometimes you have to seek out a variety of experts until you have a little bank of everything you need. We are so thankful for CHMS for all those things they were able to share with us and their expertise on some things.
As of this week, my big kids are all Panthers. They’re excited and nervous and happy and sad and with adventure comes risk and faith and we’ll be okay…because we’ve got it.