The Fair [and how it’s both horrible and awesome at the same time]

The county fair.

It’s so fun! About a month before, the kids and I scout out the veggies in the garden we think will win big and watch ’em. Some end up being duds and others are perfect. The kids paint pictures, construct Lego creations and get everything lined out. The Tuesday of fair week, we gather up all our stuff and take it to the fair building and enter them in their various classes. Come Thursday, we race up after school and see how we’ve done.

I mean, we totally came away with about $20 worth of ribbons. Not too bad.

But then Saturday night comes. The carnival portion of the fair.

It’s the worst.

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First, it smells. It smells like BO and mustard. Vomit and grease. Broken promises and bad breakups. Just when you think you’ve passed the source of the smell, you are hit with it again from a different direction. You may wonder if it’s you that smells! A quick check and you realize it’s not. It’s the fair.

Second, I can’t do anything fun for the entire month of October because we spent all our money on ride tickets. Sorry, kids, we aren’t doing Halloween this year. Instead, you experienced “The Mean Machine” and the dragon roller coaster. Hope you had fun.

Third, If I had a dollar for every time I heard a junior high girl, no older than 15, use the most disgusting language, we might be able to have a Halloween. I’d be rich. And every time I heard it, I wanted to ask them if their mamas would be proud. I’ve turned into that mom.

Fourth, I see everyone and their dog there. Not really dogs because I don’t think dogs are allowed at the Nez Perce County Fair. I said, “How’s it going?” no less than 57 times. It’s not that I don’t enjoy all those people I saw, but I forgot to take a Xanax. I’m always so nervous that people I see who I know won’t recognize me and will think I’m super weird for saying hi. I am a touch awkward and don’t know when to end conversations so they usually end with, “well….that’s all I got. See ya.” which is SUPER WEIRD.

Fifth, carnivals are dirty. So, so dirty.

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The kids loved it, though.

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Except for that time the carnival worker let my three girls on the carousel — and it didn’t have any open horses. So they had to sit on the bench. And Maria had to physically keep Charlotte on the bench because she was SO PISSED about not riding a pink horse.

So except for that, they loved it.

After being there for 3 1/2  hours, we loaded the kids up with treats and started the trek to the car.

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We needed food to sustain them on our 3 day journey back to where we parked.

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Those glimmering lights belong to the Nez Perce County Fair.

See ya next year.

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