Are you struggling to teach your child math? Do they just *not get *equations and fractions and x, y, and z and what that all means?

You guys, I’ve just made your life so much easier. Let me introduce you to….

This, my friends, is just what you and your child need. So cuddle up on the couch, and begin..

Alice and Jamie each take a lunch 5 days a week. If they totally don’t listen to their mom ever and leave 3 lunch bags in the car (containing Doritos, ham cubes and yogurt), how many does she have to fish out of the backseat on Saturday morning?

**Answer: 3 disgusting lunch boxes!**

Ruthie does 14 loads of laundry a week. If she tries to wash jackets separately from soft delicate sweaters, how many extra loads does she have to do on her day off with this treasure she found under the seat on Jamie’s side of the car?

**Answer: 2. 2 extra loads of laundry on her day off. But that’s a trick question because she NEVER HAS A DAY OFF!!**

There are 6 tiny heads to wash in the P family. If 5 of them are supposed to keep hair accessories in their hair at all times on NOT TOUCH THEM, how many heads are not losing their privileges based on this picture?

**Answer: 3. But probably less because you should see the headbands and rubber bands littering our floors. **

HALLS cough drops come in packs of 25. If there were only 13 left in the bag, how many did it take to clog the vacuum hose that Ruthie had to stuff between the seats?

**Answer: 12. 12 tiny cough drops required hose disassembly. **

There are 6 children in the P family, but only 2 of them read (3 could PROBABLY read, but 1 of them just really ‘doesn’t want to read yet’ so she doesn’t try). If there are 6 books here, how many did each of those little rug rats stuff under the seat so they didn’t have to take them inside? (does it look like there are 7 books? That Adventure Time binding is really just the cover because sometimes, 2 of those kids find it necessary to tear the cover off and just leave it wherever they want!)

**Answer: 3. Each of the 2 readers carelessly stuffed 3 books under their seats. Say it with me, friends: “That is not how we treat books.”**

This is an estimation problem: Estimate which child lied when she told me she brought BOTH her leopard boots inside, which resulted in her mother looking for the other for about 25 minutes before realizing it was probably in the car? hint: Her name starts with an A.

**Answer: ALICE!!! Alice lied. I mean…again. Again over shoes. Again over shoes being brought inside. **

There were 12 gloves stuck to the floor thanks to fruit snacks and suckers, plus one princess glove. How many children could each wear a pair of gloves and how many princesses are walking around with a freezing right hand?

**Answer: 6. 6 children. Or, every single one of my kids after they tell me they forgot gloves at home and now they’re going to be FREEEEEZING. Just like that ONE princess’ right****hand. **

If a creepy large pink unicorn got in a fight with a small, lean, and fierce horse who would win? Hint: the unicorn has a horn. A very sharp horn that hurts really bad when you accidentally fall on it on your hip while trying to make your way to the backseat to pick up the equivalent of an entire playroom of toys.

**Answer: The unicorn. The answer is always, without a doubt, the unicorn.**

7 socks were found in the backseat. If you get to Walmart and your 3 year old tells you she didn’t bring any socks or shoes, but you don’t want to go back home to get some because you found a really cherry spot, so you’ll settle for just socks as long as she rides in the car, so you ask her if there are socks back there and she says, ‘No,” then how mad (on a scale of 1-10) was mama when she discovered these in the backseat? Explain.

**Answer: 7. Because no mama should have to give up a cherry spot for no reason.**

2 kids take folders to school. If 50% of them got mad and yelled, “MOM!! You didn’t grab my Friday Folder!!!” but then you found it in the backseat where it had been for the entire week, how many got a stern talking to after school?

**Answer: 1. 1 rude child got a stern talking to along with the line, “Would you talk like this to your teacher?” which was quickly retracted when she realized the answer ***might be *“yes.”

You purchased this Minecraft ocelot kitten at Walmart for $16.95. Later, you found it on Amazon for $12.50. How much more did you pay for it than you should have and what lesson did you learn?

**Answer: $4.45. You learned that Amazon Prime is where all good things come.**

Ruthie found a dog leash in the back of the car. How many dogs does Ruthie wish she had?

**Answer: ZERO.**

This tiny cleaning brush might be little, but it can do a lot of work. It’s mighty enough to clean the mats on a car that seats 12. Ruthie’s car seats 8. Can Ruthie clean the mats of her car?

**Answer: Duh. But will she? Hell no. Ruthie is tired. **

I hope this helped all of you with any math troubles. Stay tuned because if you’re lucky you may one day get a new version: Junk Drawer Cleanup

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KarlaOh my goodness. Greatest blog post ever!! I almost died of laughter.