2014 was the year of ___________.
I don’t have it. I don’t have a word for that blank. A million and 1 things happened. Good, bad, hard, easy, frustrating, mindless…..it all made up the year for me. Maybe I can try and sum it up in pieces:
In 2014, I learned…
…about friendship. Friendships I thought would last forever changed and shifted and pretty much disintegrated. I learned that sometimes, that kind of change is okay. And that once the initial hurt and shock wears off, you learn to forgive and move on and you realize you’re grown up enough to still care, but this time it’s just from a little distance. Different doesn’t always have to equal horrible. I learned that the handful of really great friends I have are really great friends. The kind who you don’t have to be attached at the hip to in order to remain close. The kind who stop in just for a few minutes to say “hey” and who you text funny pictures to mid-day and who you can bitch to about anything and everything and they are there to nod their heads and agree. Sometimes, even if they don’t. They are the kind of friends who you never have to worry about or watch your back around.
…that life is something not to take for granted. That health is all we really have and when we don’t have that, life can really suck. My dad was diagnosed with lymphoma this year. A million times you’ve heard people say, “I never thought it would happen to me,” and it always sounds so silly. But it’s true. Never did I think the chemo story would be our family’s or that a slight fever would mean a trip to the ER for my parents. Car trips to Seattle and missed birthday parties and weeks between kid visits. Face masks and medications and weird pains and lots of tests and procedures. I’ve learned that there isn’t a good cancer to have. Even treatable cancer is horrible. Anything that takes time away from family and takes days out of your weeks is disgusting.
…every baby is a miracle. My sixth baby is as wonderful and magical as my first. I’ve also learned that some people don’t feel the same way, even if they’d never admit it out loud, and even though I know how great it all is, it still stings when there’s complete indifference to my new baby. I’ve learned that I’m lucky that those people are few and far between and that the love that surrounds Francesca (and all the kittens) is pretty unbelievable. I’ve learned to never take my babies for granted and the fact that it comes quickly and easily for us. That I’m lucky to have had 6 babies in as short a time as I have and that for those who aren’t able to do that as easily, life can be really sad and frustrating at times. I’ve learned that empathy and compassion go a long way.
…that Dan really, truly is my best friend and soul mate. Life is really hard and it takes someone who really understands the other to stand by and be supportive when anxiety and stress and ocd kicks into overdrive. He might not understand what happens in my head, but he understands me and what I need and there isn’t a thing I need other than that. He might be the worst at giving back rubs and he might eat the grossest things and want to have hobbies that involve guns and cruiser runs, but take all that away and he’s pretty great.
…that pets are not our forte in this home. That it is heartbreaking when your daughter’s bunnies die. That chickens shouldn’t be left out at night and that baby ducks should be better watched. That dogs aren’t as fun as they sound, especially when they are crazy hyper and chew up anything and everything. That maybe the kids are the only animals we really need.
…that a big family with “all these kids” is perfect for us. That it might not be perfect for everyone and that people who are rude about it really just are thinking of something to say. Because “don’t you know what causes that?” and “so are you going to get fixed?” are really pretty awful things to say to someone and I refuse to believe people are so stupid. (except I’ve learned they really are).
…that cocktails are necessary. So is cheese and bread. A trip to Hawaii and a side of Palm Springs doesn’t hurt either.
Happy New Year!!