Re Evaluation (and how it’s necessary)

Every once in a while, things happen that you can’t control. Last night at Willow Center (an organization that helps grieving children that I volunteer for) we talked with the kids about things that happen in life that are completely out of our control. Things like the weather changing, homework being assigned, birthdays coming up…along with more serious things like sickness and death.

And they’re all out of our control. It doesn’t matter who you are, how much money you have, what your job is, the number of kids you have or don’t have, how many vacations you take, if you eat organic or not, it just doesn’t matter — tough things will happen and sometimes you need to re-evaluate.

With all these things we can’t control…there’s so much we can. Sometimes it’s really easy for me to fall into this “poor me” state and complain without doing anything about it. But I’m re-evaluating how I react to things and my attitude when changes happen that I’m not happy about.

Like when an illness creeps up in your family. It sucks because serious illness is scary. The unknown is horrible, and no matter what, the road to health isn’t going to be short and easy. But on the flip side, it could be a lot worse. There could be no treatment available. It could be terminal and instead of saying goodbye for just a few days at a time (for treatments), it could be goodbye for good. And I’m learning to be grateful for that and relax about how things are going to go and not look too far into the future and the what-ifs. Because that does no good.

Or like when you genuinely reach out to someone with only the best intentions and it’s not well received at all. Instead of being really angry and not letting it go, I’m getting so much better at the saying, “it is what it is,” and looking at the friendships and relationships I do have and being very thankful for each of them.  Changes happen.

The tiny, simple, happy, important, sweet, and easy everyday moments are exactly the things that remind me of all the good.

“I’m a girl firefighter and I just saved this kitten from a fire and put it in my purse.”

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Charlotte and Ollie converting Charlotte’s bed (oh, yes. her bed on my floor) into a playspace and playing before school. Together, quietly and cheerfully.

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This terrified kitten with the most pleased baby.

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Snuggles with this baby who will only be my baby for 2 more months. Bittersweet.

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My sweet and smart boy finding a “really nice and pretty” spot to read.

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Maria practicing her dance 10 times each night and beaming at the end of it, certain that one day she will go to a dance school in New York and become a ‘real’ ballerina.

Alice decorating a birthday card for our favorite babies and being so proud of her letters and her hand drawn balloons.

This tiny kitten inside of me that flips and flops all day long, letting me know she’s almost ready.

All we really have is this moment. The one right now. Soak it up and make the most of it.

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