Do I really need to elaborate on the title of the post? Okay, I will.
First off, we would never…
…dream of stuffing tiny animals…
…in equally tiny satchels. Because tiny animals might not like that. We’d never dream of doing such a thing.
And when it’s time to leave, there are never any crying tantrums from the kids. Just because they don’t want to leave their DS game.
We’re not dramatic at all. Like….at all.
When we are outside, we wouldn’t dream of letting our 18 month old wander around the yard alone, picking up whatever she finds.
And then hope she wanders to the car.
Our 3 year old knows the rules and would never escape on trike as we are loading into the car.
No way. And she always wears a helmet, even when she is on a quick getaway, because she listens to and obeys every one of our rules. It’s just how she is.
I’m a perfect wife and would never get mad at Danny for driving way too slow past this dead dear in the MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK!!
I wouldn’t need a picture of that.
But when we drive past it again 2 hours later, our perfect city certainly would have cleaned it up, so there’s no way Danny, the perfect citizen, would ever dream of grabbing his skateboard and ollying over it. That’d be disgusting.
And, finally, we don’t eat in our car.
But if we did, it’s obvious that it wouldn’t be fast food. Our children only eat healthy meals and snacks, with organic content only SOMETIMES creeping down to 80%. And giving a 1 1/2 year old a Frosty? Ridiculous. Never.
We are most definitely a perfect family.
Happy Perfect Sunday