ACK!

I haven’t updated my blog in a couple days — I apologize.  (Don’t worry, WIWW was so not even worth mentioning).

I am frustrated and overwhelmed and stressed and anxious and sad.

Charlotte lost weight since her 4 month check up.  It wasn’t a lot, it was just 3 oz, but it was enough for it not to be okay.  Babies should gain.  Not lose.  They did blood tests and talked about supplementing and yadda yadda.

You have to know something about me.  I don’t like formula.  I am physically able to breastfeed my babies and it’s something I love to do and want to do, so to tell me that I might wanna try supplementing with formula?  It made me cry.  Big, fat, sad, salty tears.

First of all, do you know how horrible it is to hear that you might not have been giving your baby enough to eat for the past 2 months?  That maybe she’s had to dig into her fat stores to get the calories she needs?  It’s horrible.  I feel awful.  What’s even worse is that she’s used to it — she isn’t fussy or irritable at all.  She smiles and sleeps and hardly fusses.  And apparently is starving.

So I went to see a lactation consultant.  Our plan of attack is to really increase my milk supply.  Drink lots of water, rest, pump, nurse, etc.  Do everything I can to make more milk.  On Monday we go back to Charlotte’s doctor to get reevaluated.  If she hasn’t gained still, he’ll do more tests and try and figure out just what’s wrong with her.  But know what I think?  I think that I will boost my milk supply.  I’ll make lots more milk and Charlotte will realize she was really missing out!  She’ll fatten right up and stop making me worry.

 

Cross your fingers.

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